All posts in Divorce Law

Unexpected Upsides to My Parents Divorce

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Being brought up by divorced parents, well, technically my Dad did most of the work. My Moms place was more of a vacation house. Although I could come up with more downsides than upsides, but hey, Churchill used to say a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Of course the first few months were difficult, how could I ever get used to not seeing my Mom when she has been making my sunny side up and iron my clothes, now Im lucky enough if my sunny side ups look like one. But months grew into years and living with my Dad wasnt so bad after all, as a matter of fact, it was a lot easier.

1. Double of everything

Ive always been the kind who never really looked forward to my birthday; the presents Ive gotten were always, me. After the divorce, though, my birthday presents got even more exciting. When I was 17, The Arctic Monkeys came to town and it would be crazy not to miss them, but at the same time I was saving money for a new Ibanez. To my amazement, my Dad got me a sleek, blue Ibanez Gio guitar and good ol Mom gave me more than enough money for the concert ticket. Life couldnt get any better.

2. Divorce perks

I used to live in a small town and rumors spread like wildfire, you know how a small town works. When the news about my parents divorce were known by pretty much everyone, the townspeople kept asking me if I was doing okay and always offering food and advices. Ive always hated that look of sympathy they always have in their eyes until one day, my best friend asked if I wanted to skip class to go for a smoke and I said yes. So when we were almost on our way out, the principal saw us and brought us to his office. He knew about the divorce and easily let us loose, and he even gave me some money to get some chocolate milkshake because “chocolate milkshakes make everything better.” Or so he said. Little did he know that I was lactose intolerant.

3. Guilty gifts

Divorced parents often times feel guilty for putting their child (ren) through such a hard time. There was this unfortunate day, I was having my monthly scheduled PMS- I was a sour puss to everyone and my Mom must have noticed. She wasnt one to talk things through over a cup of tea so she just gave me a hug and an envelope with a large sum of money for a 17 year old teenage girl, my PMS went away in an instance.

4. Grow up faster

In a different perspective, a child having to grow up faster isnt much of a good thing. But I think otherwise, my parents divorce has helped me through a lot. I learned that just because you see one thing as a whole doesnt mean it cant break into little pieces. The world doesnt have enough happy endings for everyone, but in the end, they will end up okay. I learned how to forgive and when to let go, so thank you for divorcing, Mom and Dad.

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Time To Consider A Trial Separation To Save Your Marriage

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A trial separation may allow the partner who wants the divorce to experience some of the feelings of being separated without making a final decision to divorce. The main benefit of a trial separation, of course, is that it’s easily reversible. You can try it for a while, go through therapy, and after that reconcile, or else you can try separation for a while, decide you like it – and therefore proceed with divorce.

There are two ways you and your spouse can separate: Either with an informal separation or by a formal officially authorized separation.

An informal separation is basically whatever the two of you decide it to be. Typically, one of you stays in the residence you had previously shared, and the other moves into some other quarters. At this stage you normally wouldn’t make any formal property division, but you would come to an agreement, informally, on some kind of working agreement about possession of things like cars, the bank accounts, the credit cards, and the stereo.

A formal legal separation is more lasting, more complicated, and more expensive. It’s also much less common. It’s nearly as expensive as a divorce – sometimes more so, because it’s less unusual – so you may have to pay your lawyer to figure out how to do everything. And often people who get a formal legal separation wind up having to go through all the pain, time, and expense again later to get an actual divorce.

So why, I hear you ask, would anyone go through a formal legal separation? Maybe for the reason that some states require that a couple seeking a divorce have been separated for some space of time. Also, some couples need to remain officially married, perhaps so one can continue to be insured for medical or other purposes by the other’s company. Official legal separation makes this possible.

Occasionally, there is no question that the pair is moving in the direction of divorce, but know it will take some time to work everything out. If their incomes are substantially diverse, it may be worth approving on a written separation agreement; that way the person paying any maintenance can deduct it on his or her tax return. The paying spouse might be able to reimburse the receiving spouse more than enough to pay the tax on the alimony, and still come out ahead. Sometimes one of the spouses has a religious objection to divorce. A formal separation will allow the spouses to remain officially married even as they live separate lives.

Outside that, there may not be much of a reason to go through the time, torture, and expense of a formal legal separation. Better perhaps to agree to reach a working arrangement for an informal separation. You can then follow it up directly with either reconciliation or divorce.

So, can separation save a marriage – that is the question. A number of people emphatically resist separation, thus adding even more stress into an already tense marriage. Perhaps separation may be the best option for some marriages, despite the threatening shadow of divorce, as living together is clearly is not working. However, can you make it work from a distance? A trial separation will go a long way in helping you decide the answer.

Why? Because couples who separate tend to find that without the constant day by day conflict and squabbling the lack of proximity to their spouse provides time to think, and solve problems. Marital problems are often hard to resolve as they often get hindered by egos, fear and stubbornness. Resolution can flourish as long as at least one partner is willing to keep trying; if the urge to always be right and not back down remains then it probably means that the separation will end in divorce.

It is therefore strongly recommended that you at least give trial separation a try. If only for the sake of trying to save your marriage.

Online Divorce – Know Its Pros And Cons!

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It seems that today, the online divorce is quite spread phenomenon. The main reasons for these are its efficiency and affordability. Yes, the online divorce seems to be way less expensive than a regular legal marriage separation and, yes, this type of divorce is also faster. Up to this point, there are only advantages. But is it all positive when talking about these online divorces?

OK, so we already saw why the online divorce has so many admirers. After all, nobody wants and needs to spend incredible amounts of money on lawyers and specialists like in the case of a regular divorce and no one has to wait until the court is finally ready to state the decision.

The first matter that comes in mind when thinking about an online divorce is: Is a divorce supposed to be that easy and that impersonal, after all? Aren’t we talking about a very serious aspect of life, marriage and bounding between people? While some think of this as simply efficient and affordable, others do not want to ends their marriage in such a cold manner.

But the facts remain the same: the online divorce is not the safest one of all. Actually, if we are talking about a couple which has children or considerable amounts of goods to divide, then the online divorces should be the last options of the lists. Why so? Simply because they are very risky and both parties might end up in very undesirable situations.

When talking about an online divorce, one more flaw must be mentioned. In many cases, the parties deal with incomplete or incorrect forms – and this creates hassles and delays. When opting for such an easy divorce, it is very important to choose the right services.

There is one other flaw in the case of the online divorces: the papers and the forms might be incorrect – this happens in many cases and it delays the processes. This is why it is very important to choose the right and most competent services for an online divorce.

But when is an online divorce the right decision? Well, in case you have been married for a short while and there are no children involved in a marriage, nor do you have to divide your money, then this easy divorce is the one for you. Fast and with no implications – that is how your marriage separations will be.

You might be surprised to find out that the number one reason why people choose an online divorcer is the fact that they cannot actually communicate with each other anymore and that they simply cannot sit down and settle in the same room or court hall. In these cases, this quick divorce is a good solution, even if some think that ending a marriage in this manner is quite heartless.

For many separated people, doing divorce online seems to inconceiveable. If you’re one of them, retaining a good divorce attorney may be the answer. As for those who don’t mind to do it fast and easy, saving some money and grieve along the way, go for it!

Wedding Crashers (dvd) Review

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One of the funniest and most outrageous comedies of 2005, Wedding Crashers will have you falling out of your chair with laughter. Directed by the underrated David Dobkin, the film features now veteran Hollywood funny men Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn in their first film together as the central headliners. TV writers Steve Faber and Bob Fisher author the screenplay, a breakout hit for both, that has to be considered one of the best written comedies of the year. Of course, it helps to have the perfect comic duo delivering the lines, and Wedding Crashers offers just that. The onscreen personas of Vaughn and Wilson compliment each other extremely well, providing a flux between the laid back approach of Wilson and the fast talking banter of Vaughn.

Wedding Crashers follows the lives of two business partners and best friends, John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn). Making their living as divorce counselors, they often mediate between warring couples. But in reality, neither man is married himself. They are, however, loyally dedicated to a set of principles: the wedding crasher rules. Adhering to a specific set of intricately engineered rules for crashing weddings, John and Jeremy share a common passion for wedding receptions and carefree bridesmaids.

When the new wedding season arrives, the two set out in earnest to schmooze with relatives, deliver masterful toasts, and conquer as many beautiful women as possible. No race, religion, or social caste is left untouched by their elite wedding crashing skills. But as the wedding season comes to a close with the ultimate crescendo, the wedding of Treasury Secretary William Clearys (Christopher Walken) daughter, the duos perfectly laid plans go awry. While chasing after the Secretarys remaining two daughters, Claire (Rachel McAdams) and Gloria (Isla Fisher), the unthinkable occurs. John breaks a rule by harboring genuine feelings for Claire. Things are further exacerbated when John breaks another rule and accepts an invitation to spend the weekend with the Cleary family so he can get closer to Claire. Masquerading as distant relatives, John must fend off the advances of Claires mother Kathleen (Jane Seymour) while also attempting to eliminate Claires pompous boyfriend Zach (Bradley Cooper). Meanwhile, Jeremy is tortured by an extended weekend with the clingy and borderline insane Gloria and her crazy brother Todd (Keir ODonnell). As John gets closer to falling in love with Claire, Zach gets closer to blowing the lid off their wedding crasher conspiracy

Utterly hilarious in every way, Wedding Crashers features some of the funniest movie scenes of 2005. A brief appearance by Will Ferrell who plays the role of Chazz Reinhold, one of the original wedding crashers, makes the film doubly hilarious. Apparently, Chazz has discovered that grieving women at funerals are easier to pick up than bridesmaids. So, of course, he turns to funeral crashing. The comic sequence where Vince Vaughn gets demolished playing football is ancient slapstick, but hilarious nonetheless. Isla Fisher can be annoying at times, but her character is so ridiculously insane that it become funny to watch her after a while, and some of the pick-up lines and wedding crasher techniques are just as entertaining. Overall, Wedding Crashers is a film youll probably want to watch more than once. If anything, just to catch the laughs you missed the first time around

Dealing With the In-Laws after Divorce

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Whether you loved or hated your in-laws while you were married, dealing with them after divorce can be a hassle. If you are sensing a change in your relationship with your ex’s family, there are some things to consider before you react to the changes.

Understanding the Family Role

It is important to remember that families tend to stick together, which means forming a mutual love or mutual not-much-love for people who come in and out of the lives of different family members. If you had a great relationship with your ex’s family during the marriage, it should not be a huge surprise that they start giving you the cold shoulder in the grocery store or stop showing up at your parties after the divorce.

Even if you have not done a single thing wrong to other members of your ex’s family and considered them friends who you cared a lot about, they may not be as warm toward you after the divorce.

Or, you could find that they are just as warm as ever before. The difference often comes down to the terms of the divorce.

If you left on mutual terms then things may go unchanged but in most cases you will find the family not so open to you after the divorce. This is how families show support and love for one another and often it has nothing to do with you as a person. Try not to feel rejected, just remind yourself that this is how it is for some families.

The Value of Distance

If you are feeling rejected or alienated after losing tight-knit relationships within your ex’s family, it will help to distance yourself as much as possible. If you are keeping the family home and live nearby someone who is now less than friendly towards you, then consider a move if it is seriously affecting your emotional well being.

In most cases, you won’t have to go so far as to move houses. You can change your schedule a little so you don’t have the uncomfortable run-ins with them. You may also need to take up a new hobby in order to fill time that was otherwise spent interacting with someone in your ex’s family.

Just as putting some distance between you and your ex’s interactions can help you get through the initial pain that comes from losing your spouse, some separation and change can help you deal with losing your ex’s family members that you loved.

Family You Did Not Love

If you already had strained relationships with your ex’s family, then you may be feeling relieved not to be so intimately connected with them any longer. It’s important to take that relief as a positive aspect of the divorce and not make things worse by blowing off steam and telling everyone exactly what you think of them.

Telling your ex’s family off may make you feel a bit better in the moment, but it will only create more tension when you run into them around town or when you all come together for a child’s birthday party. Whatever you do, do NOT bad-mouth your ex’s family to your children!

Divorce is easier when you keep the peace as much as possible. This means parting from your ex’s family with the same dignity and self respect that you entered into the family with!

Vanaja Ghose 2010